BSNS EXCLUSIVE:

Kerry enlists High-Powered Aide in an attempt to cleanse his image

BOSTON, MA (BSNS) -- Running hard to catch up, in the run-up to the 2008 Presidential Election, Massachusetts Senator John F. Kerry (...The Loser in 2004, to President George W. Bush) has once again made changes to his struggling campaign team, according to recent, as-yet-unconfirmed, reports. Undisclosed sources revealed early this week that Kerry has recently added a Scottish noblewoman to his staff.  Her primary duties are said to be to clean up Kerry's seriously-besmirched image with still-angry Vietnam Era Veterans, and others with long memories, who have long been suspicious of Kerry's bona fides, amid persistent  rumors of his 'aid-and-comfort to the (Vietcong/NVA) enemy', his apparent 'refusal to release his disputed military records', and his on-going 'lack of support for the military' in general. Reportedly, Kerry's new staffer, M. Macbeth, has a great deal of prior experience with stain-removal, having been unsuccessful in only ONE prior occasion, during a long and otherwise-unblemished career.  In a recent interview M. Macbeth discounted that particular failure, saying, "As everyone already knows, THAT one time involved a highly unusual situation, and one particularly DIFFICULT stain."  Some experienced observers say she is likely to find THIS project no less daunting.